Today is or would have been my dad's birthday. He has been missed for over four years now since he died from cancer. I should rejoice in his birthday since it gave him and thus, me, life. Ironically, I feel more melancholy than reminiscent fondness.
I can't help but remember what I was doing when a call told me he had passed on and the long, arduous day that ensued. I still feel like something integral to me is missing. I had a wonderful dad for most of my life and now there's a space that hurts when I try to fill it with memories instead of real life connections. Rather than dwelling on the empty space, I urge myself to focus on those memories. The way he would size up a problem for hours until he figured it out. The boy-like grin and blue twinkle of his eyes when spinning a yarn (the same expression of amusement my son has when into mischief). I still can't help but shed a few tears (something he never approved of in his old traditional ways) when I think that my son will never know first hand how special he was.
We moved across the country to be closer to family who are now within a day's journey rather than several days. Unfortunately, days like today still makes it seem like they are an eternity away. Hugs to my mom and siblings. We miss you dad.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment